yesterday in the car my mom said “theres always the one gay twin out of a pair” and my twin brother and I shot a glance at one another because we’re both the gay twin
Oh, so women can’t dress how they want because men can’t control their sexual urges? When dogs can’t control their sexual urges, we cut off their balls.
I think I’m onto something here.
“I keep rearranging the letters of my sisters The Beatles sign on her bedroom door.
She is not happy.”
I’ve given up trying to make them normal.
ok and now there’s another one
this is great
my grandfather and my great aunt both spoke 6 languages fluently and I remember hearing them have a conversation and they would switch languages mid sentence because what they were describing could be more succinctly said in a different language and that’s so cool if I want to express that something is really great I will say the word hella before an adjective
one difference between cats and dogs is that dogs do absolutely nothing to mask their clinginess while cats pretend it’s a coincidence they’re in the same room as you 97% of the time
"The fact I am laying on your face means nothing"